Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
