Soap is not a condiment
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
