she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
it glows. i had to have it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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