No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
