talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
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i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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