i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
