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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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