If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Your dad touched me again.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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