Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize