i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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