If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
