I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
