so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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