i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
