So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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