New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
