i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
