So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
