apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
