dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
