So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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