would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
