Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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