he wants to bone in the snuggie
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
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I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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