You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize