I think I died a long time ago.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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