I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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