i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
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The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
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My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize