We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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