Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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