The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
