so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
