I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
