I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
