Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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