i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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