she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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