she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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