i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard