Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.

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  (919): Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself. http://tfl.nu/ufys
  Replies (46) Good night (504) Bad night (3170) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.

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  (512): You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication. http://tfl.nu/dq9l
  Replies (6) Good night (2986) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!

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  (716): come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk! http://tfl.nu/py4j
  Replies (6) Good night (3421) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick

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  (714): he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick http://tfl.nu/v3uh
  Replies (14) Good night (4568) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.

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  (239): you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now. http://tfl.nu/uslm
  Replies (1) Good night (2882) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.

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  (716): Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door. http://tfl.nu/u06r
  Replies (10) Good night (776) Bad night (2682) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"

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  (513): I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem" http://tfl.nu/bkek
  Replies (4) Good night (1860) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together

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  (216): Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together http://tfl.nu/si4s
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  were you high?

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  When?

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  Actually just blanket yes to that question

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  (505): were you high? (1-505): When? (1-505): Actually just blanket yes to that question http://tfl.nu/yc7i
  Replies (2) Good night (1888) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.

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  (870): Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic. http://tfl.nu/y3t4
  Replies (9) Good night (1139) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...

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  (831): Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone... http://tfl.nu/6t56
  Replies (2) Good night (816) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.

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  (330): Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving. http://tfl.nu/wsf8
  Replies (2) Good night (772) Bad night (296) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.

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  (717): I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country. http://tfl.nu/ua5o
  Replies (3) Good night (1287) Bad night (187) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming

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  (715): Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming http://tfl.nu/sgtd
  Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.

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  (248): They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror. http://tfl.nu/3vjx
  Replies (2) Good night (943) Bad night (188) Order T-Shirt

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