Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.