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Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
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