I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I smell like Dick and happiness
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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