Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
