dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
