Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
