OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
