Who wears a wallet chain?!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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