I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
