yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
