4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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