This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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