Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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