my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize