he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
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This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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