Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
