bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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