note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i out mim tonsoeep
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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