well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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