just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
