shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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