yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
