she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
this just has baby written all over it
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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