Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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