You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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